Juggling Act

I had been standing in the doorway of Jenny’s office for five minutes when I noticed Jethro standing behind me.
“You following my lead, Jethro?”
“Something like that.”
“Are you just up here to brief Jen on the case? Or to get in her pants?” I asked.
“Jaylyn.”
“Come on Jethro its obvious how much you love her. Nick and I were like you and Jen before we had JD.”
Once again Jethro didn’t say a word.
“Jen is good with kids, especially with JD. She reminds me of you when she is playing with JD.” I continued in a whisper.
JD looked up from her game with Jenny and saw Jethro and me standing in the doorway.
“Mommy!!!!!!!” JD shouted as she got up and ran over to me.
With one arm I scooped my daughter up like I did once in awhile during the first few months of her life when she wasn’t sleeping through the night.
“Mommy, mommy; guess what I saw on Aunt Jenny’s desk?” JD asked.
I knew JD was talking about the picture of her grandfather, but on a subconscious level my mind was partially thinking that Jen had left something that she would use when she and Jethro were alone; the kind of thing that no three year old should know it is what it actually is until she was at least twenty.
“What did you see?” I asked.
“I saw Aunt Jenny’s picture of Grandpa Jasper. Mommy, is Grandpa Jasper dead?”
“Grandpa isn’t dead, sweetie.” I answered.
“Then why don’t you and Aunt Jenny ever talk about him?”
Ever since JD had turned three she had become more and more curious with each passing day. I was kind of torn when it came to answering her. I wanted to tell her why her Grandpa wasn’t around and why we never talked about him, but it was just one of those things that a three year old wouldn’t understand. She wouldn’t understand why Jen and I were mad at our father. Her sweet innocence blinded her on some level for her to understand that in important moments like your daughter’s wedding and the birth of your granddaughter; you as the only living parent for your daughter and being the only living grandparent on your grandchild’s maternal side of the extended family made you automatically required to be around. But the reassurance that JD at least had Nick’s parents being the doting grandparents that spoiled her rotten besides all the aunts and uncles was quite comforting to me.
“Mommy.” JD whined.
Jethro could see that he wasn’t going to get to have a moment alone with Jenny this time.
“JD, why don’t you come with me to go see your aunts and uncles?” Jethro asked.
“Why?” JD inquired.
“Cause mommy needs to talk to Aunt Jenny.” Jethro said as he took JD from me and carried her out of Jenny’s office.
“What the hell were you thinking Jen?” I asked once JD and Jethro left.
“I told her the truth, Jay. She asked who he was and I told her. I’ll be damned if I am going to continue to lie to my niece.”
“Did you forget that he bailed on me at my wedding and that he didn’t even bother to show up when his own granddaughter was born?”
“I haven’t forgotten, but she does deserve to know who he is. You not telling her and leading her believe that Nick’s parents are her only grandparents is just doing more harm than good.”
“JD knows that Nick’s parents aren’t her only grandparents. I’ve told countless times about mom and how much she looks like mom.” I said defensively.
“I know you have, but you’re just telling her about mom. Tell her about dad.” Jenny said as she nodded to the door just as she had three years earlier when Jethro and Hollis stood in front of her.
“Fine, I have to go see Ducky.” I said as I walked out of Jenny’s office.
“Ah, Jaylyn; my dear.” Ducky said as heard the autopsy doors slide open and me walk in.
“You wanted to see me, Ducky.”
“Yes I did, Mr. Palmer can you give us a moment?”
Jimmy nodded and left.
“That daughter of yours is absolutely charming.”
“Thank-you.”
“Anyway, to answer your question from earlier; JD is clinging to you cause she is an only child. She doesn’t have a built in friend like Hannah.”
“So what you are saying is that I have to have another baby so that JD gets over her only child syndrome.”
“My dear; I know you and Ziva have been pulling a juggling act as mothers and full time NCIS Agents, but you both have your husbands.”
“Its more than just a juggling act for Ziva and me.” I said as I left autopsy.
The elevator doors opened to reveal my husband standing inside.
“So I guess you’ve talked to Ducky about JD.” Nick said.
“I did.”
“Are you pissed at me or something else?” Nick asked not completely sure if I was mad at him or not.
“I am pissed, but its not you.”
“What did Ducky say is up with JD?”
“He said she has a case of only child syndrome.”
“Which means you have to get pregnant again.”
Now I was pissed at Nick; without a word to Nick, I had flicked the switch that stopped the elevator just as Jenny and Jethro had done countless times.
“You got to be kidding me.”
“What did I say to upset you?
“You know damn well what you said. You want me to get pregnant again so that you can have that little boy you didn’t get three years ago.”
“That’s a low blow, Jay. You know I love JD with my whole heart. Us having a second child is solely for JD.” Nick said as he flicked the switch to let the elevator work again.
“To hell it is.” I replied once we got to the main floor.
Now I was pissed at my sister and the father of my daughter. I knew this wasn’t good. Once I was out of the elevator I put my back to wall where Tony had taken many phone calls from Jeanne Benoit and sank to the ground with a feeling of being completely being overruled and overwhelmed all mixed into one. All I wanted to do was escape from all my roles for a while.